rbp: rage

[dear_prudence]

right. so i called the venue (peter rowland at gardens house) today. i hadn't heard from them for a while and had little idea of where we stood and i wanted to clarify a few things. this is how the conversation played out:

me: oh, hi, i just wanted to talk a bit about the menu for our event.
pr: *with audible eyeroll* we've already talked about this.
me: yes, we have, but last time we spoke you said that some of the items on the menu you gave us were not going to be vegetarian and gluten free, and i just wanted to clarify what the menu was looking like at the moment.
pr: but we don't have to worry about that til next year.
me: well, i'm a little worried about it now. gluten is a pretty big deal. some of my friends and members of my family will get pretty sick if there's gluten in the food, as will i, and i just want to be sure that-
pr: we've already talked about this.
me: i understand that, but i'm just not feeling like we're one hunderd percent clear on where we stand right now.
pr: i sent you an email.
me: i don't think i got an email, can you forward it on to me again?
pr: but i already sent it to you.
me: look, i understand that this might be a bit irritating to you, but gluten is a big deal for my family. i really don't want any of us to get si-
pr: well, we can't guarantee the food won't be dusted with flour.
me: pardon?
pr: we can't guarantee any of the food will be gluten free.
me: but you assured us it would be no problem before you took that gigantic deposit from us.
pr: well, sorry about that.
me: ok. well. we're going to need that deposit back then.
pr: fine.
me: fine.


i don't think i'm overreacting when i say that i'm pretty sure they've treated us so badly because we're a queer couple. i'm sure they have to deal with special dietary requirements all the time, so it certainly can't be that big a deal to sort out food we can eat. we were paying them good money to do so. they have been rude, disinterested and unhelpful ever since they realised they were dealing with two women, and that it wasn't going to be a white tulle affair.
i am so mad.

but something good has come out of it. we're having the r.b.p. at glen harrow instead. i called marg and she sorted us out quick smart - had the right date free and everything. it's SO much nicer, will be more intimate, cheaper, better quality food, and we'll be able to invite more people. last time i was there with bridie i was saying that i couldn't believe we didn't think of having it there in the first place!

Comments

[iowagirl11.livejournal.com]

That guy sounds like a tremendous pain in the bum, but at least it worked out well in the end! From what I've seen, Glen Harrow looks like a gorgeous place to have your RBP.

That said, what's an RBP? I'm sure it's something glaringly obvious, but I'm drawing a blank.

[dear-prudence.livejournal.com]

really big party :)
it's going to be a wedding-like event. only without the wedding :D

[autumnjoy.livejournal.com]

The new place looks absolutely gorgeous!

[dear-prudence.livejournal.com]

it is. i'm really happy we;re having it there.

[cesario.livejournal.com]

fuck those bastards. I'd write a letter to the paper.

[dear-prudence.livejournal.com]

yeah. i'm tempted.
i've left this post open so i'm going to link people to it.
they were so unprofessional. the woman i dealt with just made me feel like a freak every time i called. it was awful. i'm quite relieved to be rid of them!

[stephiepenguin.livejournal.com]

pr: well, we can't guarantee the food won't be dusted with flour.

?!?!

[dear-prudence.livejournal.com]

I KNOW! my head exploded at that point.

[elvenjoy.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry... That they gave you a hard time about it and the reason they were doing it. Regardless of their beliefs on it, it wasn't very professional.

[dear-prudence.livejournal.com]

it was awful. and i think it's horrible that they even let their beliefs come into it. we were paying for a service, and if they weren't willing to provide it they shouldn't have taken our money.

it's strange. i haven't experienced a lot of direct discrimination based on my sexual orientation before. it's not something it expect. and it's really unsettled me... :(

[nixwilliams.livejournal.com]

WHAT. THE FUCK?

seriously! "we can't guarantee the food won't be dusted with flour"????????????????????????????????????????????????

I'M SORRY, BUT THAT IS RIDICULOUS!!!

also fuck them and their queerphobia, the new place looks nicer, anyway.

[dear-prudence.livejournal.com]

it IS nicer. and it's run by one of my favourite people in the world. she knows me and loves me, so she will do the right thing by us. she's already saying she's going to do a whole bunch of strawberry champagne punch for us on top of whatever food package we choose.

i am really happy about having it at glen harrow because i know it will be a thousand times better than anything the other place could have done, but i still feel really angry and hurt by these other people. i guess it is because it was a matter of discrimination. it's funny - i'm either pretty oblivious to it or i don't experience it very much. i think being reasonably femme means people read me as straight be default and therefore treat me as what they see as a 'normal person'. i'm still so shocked and appalled. maybe i'm naive, but i just don't expect that...

[stephiepenguin.livejournal.com]

I think it is possibly the WORST EXCUSE EVER WTH

[daniel-bethany.livejournal.com]

Hmmm.. what a douche bag. I'l sprinkle him with flour! or something. At least the silver lining seems to be brighter than the cloud is dark.

Love
xx

[dear-prudence.livejournal.com]

you're quite right, my little sunbeam!
it's going to be a beautiful party ♥

[johnnypurple.livejournal.com]

OMG! what the fuck?! WHAT. THE. FUCK.

i am very glad they don't be getting your business. that is just appalling. it's not like you happen to just not like flour/gluten. GRRRR.

glen harrow looks utterly lovely and sounds like a far better alternative! *hugs*

[dear-prudence.livejournal.com]

it's going to be gorgeous. you will love it. i can't wait!

and peter rowland and all his minions can kiss my pretty arse.

[narniadear.livejournal.com]

AW, I'm sorry about that. That place looked like it would be so nice too. :( I'm so glad you have somewhere else to go though. and I'm SO glad you got your deposit back!!

[dear-prudence.livejournal.com]

the place we have now is SO buch better. i'm happy with the overall outcome. MORE than happy. so it's all good :)
i'm happy about the deposit too - it will pay the deposit on the new place!

[baggers.livejournal.com]

that is just so far beyond acceptable, i honestly would have gone down there and screamed at this person to their face.

(but that is just the sort of person i am.)

[dear-prudence.livejournal.com]

can you believe these people??

i waned to scream at this woman. but i was at work, so instead i went for a walk with a friend and ranted at her :)

[glittery-girl.livejournal.com]

I think Glen Harrow is a much nicer choice for you - it's a special place for you already and you need somewhere special for these things and you'll be able to visit there any time afterwards and re-live the event :) My friends sister got married there and said they did such a wonderful job. It's such a beautiful place.

Don't let the yucky people get you down, it's not worth it - maybe fate played a little part today :)

[dear-prudence.livejournal.com]

you are quite right. it's going to be perfect.

[baroquestar.livejournal.com]

Oh, honestly. What an arse.

And if there are issues with getting that deposit back, go public.

New place looks divine! (Am still TOTALLY SQUEEFUL I'll be living in Melbourne by then <3 <3 <3)

[dear-prudence.livejournal.com]

eee! i know. i am so glad you're going to be here. that way i don't have to feel bad about making you and the elf fly over especially XD
seriously, i can't wait to share all the plans with you in person, and squee a lot ♥

[katyscarlett76.livejournal.com]

Grrrr that's so annoying! In this day and age for a venue to be so dimissive of people's dietary requirments is just not on! Especially when they agreed in the first place. Sounds like you're better off finding somewhere else, I'm glad you have found somewhere better! It's your day and you need somewhere that will work with you not against you!

[dear-prudence.livejournal.com]

yeah, and this new situation will allow that to happen. it's going to be great now.

[mayak2.livejournal.com]

Well he can just go jump!

Also... hybridised plants & trees and a photographer's paradise?! It sounds 100000000% better than that other place. (See... they can't have made a good impression - I can't even bother with their name!)

Glen Harrow is going to be purrrrrfect! I'm so excited for you. ♥

[dear-prudence.livejournal.com]

it is such a beautiful place. i can't wait for the party now!

[xxxlibris.livejournal.com]

Oh fuck them in the ear (and seriously write to the papers). Seriously - I've just been lecturing on the ethical aspects of poor customer treatment and would be tempted to use this as an anonymised case study.

On the other hand your RBP sounds completely awesome!

[dear-prudence.livejournal.com]

you can totally use it. and it doesn't have to be anonymous. you can tell the story of your friend essie who was having a big gay party!
♥

it will be completely awesome. if you are in the country you're invited! ♥