dear_prudence (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
dear_prudence) wrote2008-11-11 11:25 am
dear_prudence) wrote2008-11-11 11:25 am
Entry tags:
rbp: rage
right. so i called the venue (peter rowland at gardens house) today. i hadn't heard from them for a while and had little idea of where we stood and i wanted to clarify a few things. this is how the conversation played out:
me: oh, hi, i just wanted to talk a bit about the menu for our event.
pr: *with audible eyeroll* we've already talked about this.
me: yes, we have, but last time we spoke you said that some of the items on the menu you gave us were not going to be vegetarian and gluten free, and i just wanted to clarify what the menu was looking like at the moment.
pr: but we don't have to worry about that til next year.
me: well, i'm a little worried about it now. gluten is a pretty big deal. some of my friends and members of my family will get pretty sick if there's gluten in the food, as will i, and i just want to be sure that-
pr: we've already talked about this.
me: i understand that, but i'm just not feeling like we're one hunderd percent clear on where we stand right now.
pr: i sent you an email.
me: i don't think i got an email, can you forward it on to me again?
pr: but i already sent it to you.
me: look, i understand that this might be a bit irritating to you, but gluten is a big deal for my family. i really don't want any of us to get si-
pr: well, we can't guarantee the food won't be dusted with flour.
me: pardon?
pr: we can't guarantee any of the food will be gluten free.
me: but you assured us it would be no problem before you took that gigantic deposit from us.
pr: well, sorry about that.
me: ok. well. we're going to need that deposit back then.
pr: fine.
me: fine.
i don't think i'm overreacting when i say that i'm pretty sure they've treated us so badly because we're a queer couple. i'm sure they have to deal with special dietary requirements all the time, so it certainly can't be that big a deal to sort out food we can eat. we were paying them good money to do so. they have been rude, disinterested and unhelpful ever since they realised they were dealing with two women, and that it wasn't going to be a white tulle affair.
i am so mad.
but something good has come out of it. we're having the r.b.p. at glen harrow instead. i called marg and she sorted us out quick smart - had the right date free and everything. it's SO much nicer, will be more intimate, cheaper, better quality food, and we'll be able to invite more people. last time i was there with bridie i was saying that i couldn't believe we didn't think of having it there in the first place!
me: oh, hi, i just wanted to talk a bit about the menu for our event.
pr: *with audible eyeroll* we've already talked about this.
me: yes, we have, but last time we spoke you said that some of the items on the menu you gave us were not going to be vegetarian and gluten free, and i just wanted to clarify what the menu was looking like at the moment.
pr: but we don't have to worry about that til next year.
me: well, i'm a little worried about it now. gluten is a pretty big deal. some of my friends and members of my family will get pretty sick if there's gluten in the food, as will i, and i just want to be sure that-
pr: we've already talked about this.
me: i understand that, but i'm just not feeling like we're one hunderd percent clear on where we stand right now.
pr: i sent you an email.
me: i don't think i got an email, can you forward it on to me again?
pr: but i already sent it to you.
me: look, i understand that this might be a bit irritating to you, but gluten is a big deal for my family. i really don't want any of us to get si-
pr: well, we can't guarantee the food won't be dusted with flour.
me: pardon?
pr: we can't guarantee any of the food will be gluten free.
me: but you assured us it would be no problem before you took that gigantic deposit from us.
pr: well, sorry about that.
me: ok. well. we're going to need that deposit back then.
pr: fine.
me: fine.
i don't think i'm overreacting when i say that i'm pretty sure they've treated us so badly because we're a queer couple. i'm sure they have to deal with special dietary requirements all the time, so it certainly can't be that big a deal to sort out food we can eat. we were paying them good money to do so. they have been rude, disinterested and unhelpful ever since they realised they were dealing with two women, and that it wasn't going to be a white tulle affair.
i am so mad.
but something good has come out of it. we're having the r.b.p. at glen harrow instead. i called marg and she sorted us out quick smart - had the right date free and everything. it's SO much nicer, will be more intimate, cheaper, better quality food, and we'll be able to invite more people. last time i was there with bridie i was saying that i couldn't believe we didn't think of having it there in the first place!
no subject
i am really happy about having it at glen harrow because i know it will be a thousand times better than anything the other place could have done, but i still feel really angry and hurt by these other people. i guess it is because it was a matter of discrimination. it's funny - i'm either pretty oblivious to it or i don't experience it very much. i think being reasonably femme means people read me as straight be default and therefore treat me as what they see as a 'normal person'. i'm still so shocked and appalled. maybe i'm naive, but i just don't expect that...
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but yes, this stuff happens far too frequently, and you're lucky that you don't encounter it more often.
no subject
i am lucky. and i'm grateful that my queerness isn't particularly visible if this is the way it would be.